Let’s be real—saying no is tough. But when you’re juggling the demands of raising kids and caring for aging parents, it can feel downright impossible. You’re the go-to person, the glue that holds everything together. So why does setting boundaries make us feel so guilty?
Why Saying No Feels So Hard for Sandwich Moms
Tatiana Rivera Cruz, LCSW, explains that sandwich moms juggle multiple roles and responsibilities, which is one of the key reasons they often struggle to say no.
We Were Raised to Be the Helpers
From an early age, many of us were taught that being a “good” daughter and a “good” mom means always putting others first. We watched our mothers do it, and now we’ve inherited the same weight of responsibility. Saying no can feel like failing at the roles we’ve spent a lifetime perfecting.
“Sandwich mothers fear setting boundaries because it may make them seem selfish, even when they’re not,” explains Cruz. “This role carries cultural and generational expectations that contribute to pressure, exhaustion, and burnout.”
